Friday, August 17, 2012

Two Great Statements

Toughness is the ability to perform at the upper limits of your talent and
skill regardless of the competitive circumstance.
- 6 Times Crossfit Games Competitor Chris Spealler

The Rule of Permission: Any player may attack any open space at any time, as long as he thinks it’s in the best interest of team. 
-Bob Krier, Coach of Johnny Bravo

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Who I Want to Win the Republican Primary

Full disclosure, I plan to vote for Barack Obama in the 2012 Presidential race. My interest in the Republicans is mostly one of a rubbernecking gawker. Never before have so many people gotten onto a stage, intended to be serious, and ended up making me laugh.

That said, I see some outcomes that would be better than others in the Republican Primary.

Ron Paul wins: 
-it would prove the power of young voters and organizers
-it would shake things up
-the presidential debate would be about fact and evidence, not faith
-California's electoral college votes would actually be up for grabs making our state politically relevant

Newt Gingrich wins:
-we'd see the Portly Master Strategist and Wordsmith get the credit for his work (as opposed to having that role be behind the scenes a la Carl Rove)
-we could have an honest debate about how "faith based conservative concepts" like marriage fidelity are not actually important to a politician - just rational decision making
-the vocab and sentence structure of political discourse might be lifted about a 6th grade level. (Obama has worked hard to raise it from the 4th grade level it was at during the Bush term).

Santorum wins:
-we can see what REAL faith and its consequent political positions entail.
-we can see what its like for a scared, timid little boy grow into a confident speaker in the course of one election
-Dude is crazy enough that Obama can disagree with his faith views and still win. This will be a good time for the left to finally openly come out against religious craziness

But of course none of these will happen and Romney is bound to win the nomination. The debates will be about who smiles the biggest and recites the right soundbite at the right time. The only good I hope to come from this inevitable outcome is for him to fully come out of the closet and admit that he is filthy rich. Stop hiding it, America loves the quirky Jack Donaghy. 

At least Jack Donaghy is entertaining and to be honest, living in a state that has no political say at all, that's all I want of my trained monkeys - I mean politicians. 


There is a very thin line between classy and snobby. One of the biggest problems with connoisseuris that they are quick to give the wine or the scotch or the sound system or car WAY to much credit for the enjoyment of the experience that have with it. It’s not the scotch, it is the people you are sharing it with (or alternatively, the solitude you share it with). Much pleasure comes to these people from spending a lot of money on the thing, but they should not consider cost an essential character of a thing. See through the cost and then maybe so called connoisseur can judge an a thing's worth more objectively.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Best Way To See Whether You Have a Good Argument

The Best Way To See Whether You Have a Good Argument is to search for the best possible counter arguments. Honestly and sinserley attempt to prove yourself wrong. Ask your friends to put up the most vigiorous devil's advocate arguement in opposition.

If, after all that, your logic seems air tight (be a little objective here) then you may progress with confidence. If you hold an opinion steadfast without subjecting it to all critisms you are probably doing so because you are affraid of what you will find when you do. Fine - know that your opinion may be flawed but if you are ok with that no skin off my back. But if you want me to consider what you have to say, know that I wont take your word on something if its obvious you have not given it the thought that thoughtful opinions deserves.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The most frustrating thing

Is that I want to BE the things inside my head, but to other people, I am exactly what I DO habitually.

Change is hard.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Judgment Day - A Story

On May 21st 2011, the year of our Lord, Jesus, son of Yahweh, returned to Earth and Judgment Day began. First, he went to his old stomping grounds in West New York. None of the locals could understand his Aramaic or any of the Seneca that he remembered from last time he was there. Someone pointed him to Utah so he stopped in over there. And left quickly.  Same story in Canaan; mostly, it was just very loud there and he was never one for yelling.

All in all, he took 138 people back to heaven. Most of them were subsistence farmers who worked the land with their bare hands. There were going to be almost double that number until he learned they were raising pigs for food – no one who’d ever eaten pork gets to go to heaven - that was one of the really important parts of that book he helped write.

Through his whole trip he was very surprised at how humans acted about the whole thing. On one hand, so many people were happy THEY were RIGHT.  But that shouldn’t have been so hard, that instruction book couldn’t have been clearer – well, actually it could have been a little less vague in some parts, but deciphering was some of the fun, right?. It really baffled him to see that EVEN THOUGH he clearly remembered saying that you had to be RIGHT about EVERYTHING to get to heaven AND they got the date of return correct, most everyone didn’t spend more than a few years trying to pretend to be on the up and up before inspection time. He would have seen through those attempts anyway, but just 6 months of temple attendance? “Come on!” he thought, “you could have tried a little harder than that.”

He did feel a little bad that apparently his teachings were so hard to interpret – he laughed (privately) about all the different attempts that flubbed up so miserably. Maybe he should have spent a little more time with the editors to make sure the message got across clearly but at the time he really just wanted to get his father’s stupid assignment over with.

As he and the 138 were about to rise to heaven, many of those to be left behind were dumb struck. They had spent most (but not all) of their lives trying to figure out how to get into heaven. Some of them got really loud amplifiers to communicate with him as he was rising into the sky. (This whole levitation process took about 2 days. What? You thought the survivors would just shoot to heaven instantly?). He agreed to a question and answer period – the first 2000 feet were kinda awkward so this was the best way to break the tension. Mostly he just phoned in the answers. “What is God like?”, “I don’t know, what is your Dad like when the puppy he got ends up shitting on the rug all the time?”. The one question he gave some real thought to came from a 16 year old girl. He only called on her because she was kinda cute.

"So what are we supposed to do now? Some of us were closer than others, should we all try to live our lives like those that you took? The bible doesn’t say what we are supposed to do after the Rapture, will you come back to get more of us later if we do the right things?"

So he responded after a little thought:
“ First, RAPTURE is a mistranslation. It was talking about a RAPTOR, a bird of pray. That fucking sweet eagle I rode down here on. You think I would use this slow ass levitation bullshit if I didn’t have too? But nooOOOOooo, you had to kill all the mother fucking bald eagles. Now there are only 27 left? Fuckin’ A humans!  Secondly, there’s not a chance im coming back here. I said it’s gonna happen once and I keep my word. Yeah, and good luck ever getting my dad’s attention ever again – ever wonder why there haven’t been any miracles lately? It’s cause he is busy with all his other projects across the universe. Seriously, I want to speak in no uncertain terms: he doesn’t give a shit about you anymore.” He laughed at the clarity of it all and continued, “I guess you should all just be nice to each other and enjoy yourself. From here on out, you’ll just go to the ground when you die. Like, listen to me, I’m honestly not trying to test you like my father was: heaven and hell will not be an option for you any more. Really. Really, I’m not trying to be cute. We won’t be watching anymore. That golden rule thing those atheists came up with sounds good, go with that. Just, uh, have fun.”

There was a long silence and Jesus remembered he had left the coffee pot on at home and was frustrated the levitation was taking so long. And so he politely stopped answering questions and called his girlfriend to see if she turned it off and if she could pick him up from the airport. Wireless service while you’re flying, amazing what technology can do these days.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


You only have so many high-school friends and they know you in ways others never can. Respect the special type of bond you have between them. Try to not let them slip away, all it takes is a facebook message.

Joke of the Day:
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.